Posts Tagged ‘letting go’

The following post is taken from my upcoming book: Connected: The Art of Building Relationships. Connected is the updated edition of Relationships for the Intimately Challenged.
A grandiose ego is a common defense mechanism used to mask fear. When someone is insecure and has a fundamental fear around people, an easy way to keep others at [...]

We must learn to define our own lives
by pursu­ing our joys and passions with people we love.

A tremendous amount of confusion happens when people look into their past ex­periences in order to initiate change in their lives today. They recognize destructive pat­terns and make the decision to further inves­tigate why they operate the way [...]

Dealing with the past gives us some answers to the question of “why”. To create change, we must recognize the pattern and take action.

As a child, our interactions with our families teach us how to relate to other people and establish patterns that appear later in life. If Dad always complains about Mom and launches [...]

An easy trap for parents to fall into is the unrealistic expectation of perfection. We are conditioned to believe we should be equipped to handle any problems our children might have. We convince ourselves there shouldn’t be a question we are unable to answer. We read the testimonials of other parents or of parenting experts [...]

Self-deception is a common theme with people who are controlled by irrational fears. In order for someone to continue to live in a pattern of neurosis, they must be able to justify their fear to themselves and to others. A common characteristic with such people is self-righteousness and anger.
“Suppose we were able to share meanings [...]

Photo Credit:andertho via Flickr
“What’s in the past is dead. Let the dead bury the dead.”
~Og Mandino from The Greatest Miracle in the World”
When afraid, we love to use our past as a way to justify our behavior in the present. There are those, too, who love to hold on to past hurts to use as ammunition to [...]

I have made some really dumb statements in my life. I mean some really, really narrow minded black and white statements. One of the doosies I used for a long time was about how my world was really small. I really said that. I meant it, too. Not only did I say it and mean [...]

Lately I have found myself in conversations with people who are struggling in various area of their lives. This should come as no surprise, I am a counselor after all. Sometimes I even amaze myself with my mastery of the obvious!
Anyway, I am reminded that in times of struggle or fear people will often disregard the most [...]

I had the opportunity to spend the past week at Jack Canfield’s Breakthrough to Success seminar. What an incredible experience. I had no idea what to expect. I have spent the past twenty-one years of my life being conscious of personal growth and the past week was an emotional challenge that allowed me to really [...]

I am fortunate to spend the majority of my time around very forward moving people. People who are interested in improving their lives emotionally, spiritually, and emotionally. As a result of this motivation they are able to remain idealistic and positive. There are some common characteristics that people I look up to and respect possess. 

A [...]